Wack People Meet (dot) Com

Well, it happened again. For those of you that missed it, Action Bronson, and Andy Milonakis took to the Internet streets for another cypher. If you follow Bronsolino or Andy on Twitter, you’ll know that this is not the first timethese men have blessed us with a sampling of their rap poems. Some highlights of the cypher are “ILL MAKE AN ESCORT OUTTA SNOOKIE MY DICK IS FLAVORED ALMOND COOKIE”, “I NEVER FIGHT A BITCH BUT I SLAP HOS WITH OREOS”, and my personal favorite, “EATIN STUPID SNAILS WITH A JEWISH GANG MEMBER BLUEISH RANGE ROVER COOLIN IN HANOVER WIT A HANGOVER HAIRCUT LIKE AN ASIAN BOY.” Whether or not Bam Bam Bigalow and Milonakis collaborate on Bronson’s upcoming project “Saab Stories” remains to be seen; however, one thing’s for sure, this cypher was as glorious as the first one. Enjoy! 

[Your favorite blogger’s favorite tweeter’s favorite couple]

DISCLAIMER: This post is only for the dudes. So if you are of the female persuasion, scroll directly to the playlist. DO NOT READ OUR SECRETS. Seriously, do it. I know you’re inquisitive, but this isn’t the time. 

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I can see you.

I still see you hiding behind the doorpost.

For real this time. 

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Are the gone? Phew. Alright, now that all of those smelly girls with cooties have left, it’s time to talk about man stuff like welding and crafting your own beers. Have many of you guys like having sex? As a person who has had a bunch of sex (I don’t need to show you proof, just believe me), I think I know a few things about sex activities. Today being Valentine’s Day, some of you bros are going to be having a little sex and some of you are going to be having a lot of sex. Now, whether that’s going to be with yourself or with other human beings is completely up to you and I won’t judge you. 

Now that this is sufficiently awkward, I present to you the 1st Annual WPM “Valentine’s Day Spotify (Fore)playlist.” This playlist was intended to assist and accompany you as you try to engage in coitus. Hand this playlist to your favorite club’s favorite DJ and tell them that these cuts are guaranteed to get everyone moist in their respective underwear zones*. Yell it from the rooftops. Tell them your Internet friend Alex Hancock is here for you. Tell them that when this playlist is the catalyst for sex, it brings warmth to his heart.

I hope this playlist will bring you much joy on your journey to sexdom. Know that this playlist was created with you the reader in mind. I hope that every time you have sex to this playlist you think of me. Actually, on second thought, don’t do that. That would be really weird. Anyways, enjoy!

*Results may vary. 

BONUS: 
I thought the most powerful love ballad of the 20th century deserved its own recognition. This is our generation’s “I Got You Babe”. Word to Sonny and Cher. 

[Photo Credit: Terry Richardson]

Many of us missed something beautiful while we were preoccupied by sporting events or various other things on the Interwebs. Known lover of Nubian Queens and popular rapper, Action Bronson, and popular old dude who looks like a young dude, Andy Milonakis, took to the Internet streets to bless us with a rap cypher. Some high points of the interaction are: “My bitch play for the Atlanta Dream pussy smell like salmon creamed” and “Verbal limp dick, neva switch hit, unless you a gay misfit.” My hope is that Bronson and Andy make this a regular Saturday occurrence so that all of the Internet can enjoy their rap poems. Enjoy! (Word to Mostly Junkfood for the shoutout.)